Saturday, October 20, 2012

Random Ramblings. Quite So.

    So I don't have a definite topic on my mind today.  I feel a mixture of boredom and depression though so I'm going to ramble for a bit on a few things plus whatever comes to mind.  Okay?  Okay.

    So today was a pretty good day mostly though I have some things I'm going to complain about.  I really hate feeling unimportant.  I'm not sure if that's a selfish feeling or not but as much as I like when people want to be around me and want to be talking to me it feels better when someone needs you for something emotionally.  I wish I could be there for my friends more than I am but no one really needs any help.  If they do then they have someone more suitable to turn to.  It may just be that I've been feeling lonely while surrounded by people these last few days but I feel redundant even when I'm the only one there.  That doesn't make much sense does it?  Ah well, all of that was mostly written to get some thoughts out of my head and on to something else.  It's a better way to deal with things than other ways I often do.

    That is actually something I was considering typing about.  I deal with stress and depressing moments in a few ways, some pretty good and some pretty awful.  Of course, it all depends on who you ask as I sometimes feel, even after wards, that the awful methods of dealing with things work just as well as anything else.  Anyway, one way I started using again is obviously writing about things   I have kept journals in the past but they often felt like more of a responsibility than something that I was doing to help myself and sort through my thoughts.  There're more times when I write due to an inspiration of some sort though and thus it isn't the huge help it might be able to be.  Another way I deal with things is by losing myself in something.  I often play video games or watch movies or shows for fun but also when I am feeling less than fantastic.  The same thing goes for books of course but I'm hesitant to read things I haven't before when in a bad mood as I often find myself associating something with the emotions that I had at the time and I'd rather not color books with such a bias.  This goes for games/movies/shows too of course but to a lesser extent as those can pull me in more quickly though often not as much.  It's a bit hard to explain the distinction I have between them.  I've mentioned before that Twilight and Kingdom Hearts are two of my escape paths.  Either they have really strong feelings attached to them or they may be tied to happier memories but either way, I often find myself with one of those when things are spiraling out of control.  Things aren't always that easy though.  I often feel the need to do something more extreme and nothing seems to scratch the urge.  It usually involves hurting myself in some way.  I try not to do it as those who manage to notice are rarely pleased with me which doesn't really help anything.  Nevertheless, I've felt it also helps.  I'm sure many people would argue that it really doesn't though and it may very well not.  It's not really something I worry about as much as a lot of people probably would think that I should.  What is most scary is when I don't actually feel bad at all but I have the desire to do it anyway.  In any case those are the most common ways I deal with things.

    Anyway, another topic I wanted to address was about Guild Wars 2 which I've been playing a lot more lately.  I still haven't gotten very far with any characters at all  since I keep making new ones to try the different styles out.  In any case, I finally chose a definite favorite race.  The Asura are technical geniuses who not only build amazing mechanical wonders, they also understand and can manipulate powers of an arcane nature with incredible ease.  These guys are my favorites by far!  I do enjoy the Charr, a large feline/canine race who make really bad-ass warriors and such as well as engineers (they do a lot of war machine stuff in their society) and rangers.  Now, they can just as easily be other professions but I always tend to play classes with races the feel right to me.  I also do the same thing with genders.  I feel that a berserk warrior is more naturally fit to a male (this is only for me as simple preference, I would never object to others playing nor being a bloodthirsty female of any race).  I also don't mind the Sylvari though they can be a bit strange in ways.  Despite that they are a fascinating race that I haven't seen the likes of previously.  Humans are a bit dull and the Norn sometimes are more annoying than awesome but at times they can be cool.  The Asura are a bit silly but not in a way that detracts from their awesomeness to me.  Their buildings are based strongly around cubes and is a mix of magic and technology which is way cooler to me than the Charr's city of hard metal.  Though there is more, I'm going to top it off with the fact the the Asura has the best dance by a long shot.  The others pretty much look silly when they dance while the Asura do incredible pop and lock dancing; that is my favorite style, by the way.

Meet Zojja and Mr. Sparkles!
    So this has been fun and taken a long time to write, which was half the point.  Some of it may not be the best stuff to have on my blog but I doubt most people will read it anyways.  Hope you enjoyed!

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