Random Ramblings. Quite So.

    So I don't have a definite topic on my mind today.  I feel a mixture of boredom and depression though so I'm going to ramble for a bit on a few things plus whatever comes to mind.  Okay?  Okay.

    So today was a pretty good day mostly though I have some things I'm going to complain about.  I really hate feeling unimportant.  I'm not sure if that's a selfish feeling or not but as much as I like when people want to be around me and want to be talking to me it feels better when someone needs you for something emotionally.  I wish I could be there for my friends more than I am but no one really needs any help.  If they do then they have someone more suitable to turn to.  It may just be that I've been feeling lonely while surrounded by people these last few days but I feel redundant even when I'm the only one there.  That doesn't make much sense does it?  Ah well, all of that was mostly written to get some thoughts out of my head and on to something else.  It's a better way to deal with things than other ways I often do.

    That is actually something I was considering typing about.  I deal with stress and depressing moments in a few ways, some pretty good and some pretty awful.  Of course, it all depends on who you ask as I sometimes feel, even after wards, that the awful methods of dealing with things work just as well as anything else.  Anyway, one way I started using again is obviously writing about things   I have kept journals in the past but they often felt like more of a responsibility than something that I was doing to help myself and sort through my thoughts.  There're more times when I write due to an inspiration of some sort though and thus it isn't the huge help it might be able to be.  Another way I deal with things is by losing myself in something.  I often play video games or watch movies or shows for fun but also when I am feeling less than fantastic.  The same thing goes for books of course but I'm hesitant to read things I haven't before when in a bad mood as I often find myself associating something with the emotions that I had at the time and I'd rather not color books with such a bias.  This goes for games/movies/shows too of course but to a lesser extent as those can pull me in more quickly though often not as much.  It's a bit hard to explain the distinction I have between them.  I've mentioned before that Twilight and Kingdom Hearts are two of my escape paths.  Either they have really strong feelings attached to them or they may be tied to happier memories but either way, I often find myself with one of those when things are spiraling out of control.  Things aren't always that easy though.  I often feel the need to do something more extreme and nothing seems to scratch the urge.  It usually involves hurting myself in some way.  I try not to do it as those who manage to notice are rarely pleased with me which doesn't really help anything.  Nevertheless, I've felt it also helps.  I'm sure many people would argue that it really doesn't though and it may very well not.  It's not really something I worry about as much as a lot of people probably would think that I should.  What is most scary is when I don't actually feel bad at all but I have the desire to do it anyway.  In any case those are the most common ways I deal with things.

    Anyway, another topic I wanted to address was about Guild Wars 2 which I've been playing a lot more lately.  I still haven't gotten very far with any characters at all  since I keep making new ones to try the different styles out.  In any case, I finally chose a definite favorite race.  The Asura are technical geniuses who not only build amazing mechanical wonders, they also understand and can manipulate powers of an arcane nature with incredible ease.  These guys are my favorites by far!  I do enjoy the Charr, a large feline/canine race who make really bad-ass warriors and such as well as engineers (they do a lot of war machine stuff in their society) and rangers.  Now, they can just as easily be other professions but I always tend to play classes with races the feel right to me.  I also do the same thing with genders.  I feel that a berserk warrior is more naturally fit to a male (this is only for me as simple preference, I would never object to others playing nor being a bloodthirsty female of any race).  I also don't mind the Sylvari though they can be a bit strange in ways.  Despite that they are a fascinating race that I haven't seen the likes of previously.  Humans are a bit dull and the Norn sometimes are more annoying than awesome but at times they can be cool.  The Asura are a bit silly but not in a way that detracts from their awesomeness to me.  Their buildings are based strongly around cubes and is a mix of magic and technology which is way cooler to me than the Charr's city of hard metal.  Though there is more, I'm going to top it off with the fact the the Asura has the best dance by a long shot.  The others pretty much look silly when they dance while the Asura do incredible pop and lock dancing; that is my favorite style, by the way.

Meet Zojja and Mr. Sparkles!

    So this has been fun and taken a long time to write, which was half the point.  Some of it may not be the best stuff to have on my blog but I doubt most people will read it anyways.  Hope you enjoyed!

Tangents Sprung from Fluffy Hair

    So I haven't made a post in forever but that's a mix of business, laziness, and just not having any thoughts I really felt like sharing.  Tonight however, I'm feeling much more bored with my usual activities and no one is available to hang out. This is in spite of my hair being awesome and fluffy today.  All I really wanted for the day was to share my the fluffiness of my hair and my good mood.  Sadly things don't always turn out how we'd like them to.

    I'm going to run off on my first tangent of this post.  I really like fall!  It's my favorite season of all of them and I doubt it will ever change.  I hate the heat of summer and fall brings the brisk and chilly air that is perfect for wearing hoodies and jeans.  It's perfect for cuddling up with that someone special and just enjoying being close to someone.  To me, fall is the mot beautiful season both literally and figuratively.  Don't worry, I'll explain.  Fall is the season of death.  Things are coming to and end in both the year and the cycle of nature.  Winter is the period of rest and being dead while fall, to me, is the transition.  Despite this, everything makes an effort to be vibrant and as beautiful as it can.  It's a final farewell.  It seems like nature is shouting that if it's going to die (albeit only for a while) it's going to live as hard as it can before it's over.  I think I'd like that in my life.  I know it's not a new idea of course.  Knowing the phases, realizing their meaning and actually living that way while maintaining responsibility though?  That isn't the easiest of things to do.  Still.  Fall is beautiful and it makes me feel alive.

Simply Gorgeous

    I may also feel alive due to this next tangent though!  I have been dieting these last few weeks.  Five is more accurate.  It's been exactly 36 days according to the thing I've been using.  I just recorded my weight today and I'm making pretty good progress!  I've lost 13.6 pounds so far.  It may not always seem like a ton to me.  I don't look that different to me nor is it incredibly large compared to how much I want to be.  Still, it's working remarkably well.  All I've been doing is counting calories basically.  My parents both did this before I started and so I want to as well.  My limit for a day is technically 1690 calories.  I feel disappointed if I get past 1600 though.  Ironically, some days I eat really light and I have to eat extra so that I get to at least 1200.  Apparently it's not healthy to have less and your body thinks it needs to store more fat?  I don't know.  What's remarkable about this is that I don't actually Do much.  I have my college online, I play video games and watch shows/movies, and I read.  I don't do a whole lot of exercise but I'm still losing over two pounds a week on average.  It can be tough though.  It isn't at home very much but when I go out to eat it's so difficult!  I usually only eat half of my meal and it's over alf the calories I'll eat for the day.  Also, salads can be bloody deceptive!  Many restaurants have salads as meals.  These often sound pretty good.  Yeah... I had a crispy chicken salad on an earlier week.  It was around 1500 calories alone >_<!  whatever they put in those (chicken, sigh...) is calorie-filled.  It isn't always bad though.  I had a salad somewhere else and used only half the dressing they gave me on the side.  That was a pretty low calorie option and incredibly tasty!

    Tangent number three is about books.  In fact, it is about four books that have become an infamous sensation.  That's right, this tangent is all about the Twilight series.  Now, as you may know, I am a male.  You may also know, I like to play video games.  I read fantasy books that are deemed quite well written.  I really love the Twilight books.  I typed that sentence quite hard, just so you know.  I don't care if you think it's pathetic of me, I'll always hold them pretty close in my heart.  Now, that doesn't mean I read them all the time though I have read them all at least twice.  They're something comfortable, something safe.  When something happens or I feel incredibly down about something, it's not uncommon for me to pick up and try and lose myself in it.  Kingdom Hearts is a similar thing for me actually but that's not for this tangent.  Now, I know it isn't the best writing in the world.  I also know that Bella isn't the best of protagonists.  I also know how horrible and blasphemous it is to have vampires sparkle.  Though you know what?  The other aspects of the vampires I have no problem with.  Had it just been a species of predator that had evolved to look human and found human flesh the most satisfying no one would mind Meyer's vampires.  My point of all this is that I'm so sick of everyone hating it.  Clearly not everyone hates Twilight as it sold incredibly well!  Something about it is enticing right?  It may not be to you, but I enjoy it and I really hate all the crap it gets.  I can respect your opinions, yeah.  It's fine if you've read it and didn't like it.  How could I blame you for that? A lot of people who vocally bash it haven't though!  These are people who comment on how it's badly written too!  It makes me really annoyed when I shouldn't let it but it gets to me every time.  I'm fine if you know it's not your style of book and you know that it wouldn't interest you so you don't read it. I also know it won't stop being ridiculed any time soon either; people like easy sport after all.

    Tangent four is related to tangent three actually.  It's about Brandon Sanderson, one of my favorite authors.  Sanderson writes more than I can fathom.  His first work, Elantris, was published in 2005.  Okay, not too long yeah?  He has six short stories/novellas, four young adult books in a series, Mistborn, a full size trilogy with a fourth book recently published, two standalone novels, And his most recent novel, the start of a longer series, The Stormlight Archive (hardback 1001 pages, paperback 1250ish... yeah.).  In addition to all that he also finished Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series which is known for its intense amount of plot lines and characters.  Sounds like a ton, yeah?  That's not it though!  He also teaches some writing classes.  He does a lot of writing for his blog as well.  Even more than that however, he does some behind the scenes writings chapter by chapter for many of his books that can be found on his website!  He writes a lot.  It's discouraging in some ways.  On the plus side, He'll often have new stuff for me to read!  That's much better than slower authors.  My other favorite author, Patrick Rothfuss, writes much slower.  The Name of the wind came out in 2007 and the second book in 2011...  I really want the third one out so I can read the rest of them because they are incredibly fantastic!!! Sigh... fantastic enough it completely discouraged my novel I was working on.  That's okay though, with hindsight, I didn't have enough meat for my plot.

A Couple Books of Sanderson's

   Yup.  I think that's a large enough blog for today!  I'll try and keep up an occasional blog from now on, I really will.  What will the next one be?  More random thoughts and tangents?  Another thing about a video game or series?  Maybe on books?  It'll be whatever I feel like!  That or maybe what you think I should write on.  If you Do have desire to read about something, let me know and I'd be happy to write on it!

Oh yeah. Rothfuss is a Wizard. Just FYI.